Ramblings from a Second Ego Death

About 40 minutes ago I experienced what I can only describe as a “second ego death.” No, I am not drunk or high 😛 (in fact, taking a break from alcohol may have helped prompt this).

About two years ago I experienced what I am referring to as “first ego death” (not technical terms; metaphorical ones), where I, in a “moment of clarity”, suddenly felt the existence of other human beings who were not me but were the same as me. The world in that moment expanded beyond me to include other people. This is the overcoming of solipsism.

Over time, I was able to expand my knowledge of this new world to find space for the passions and struggles of others within my own, and felt myself more completely one with the whole. This is the overcoming of provincialism.

Tonight, that took another sudden leap forward as I was reading up on the 3-D printed gun. Soon, it won’t matter what gun laws are passed, or what the government tries to do, because anyone can just print guns in their house without the government being able to stop you. Their impotent regulations, their pathetic rules, their meaningless authority, their facade of consent — none of these things will matter. There will exist something beyond politics. We will have transcended politics.

The cost of things will be clear, the meaning of personal politics will manifest. Reactionaries, conservatives, liberals, progressives — all will be reduced to their similarities in the depth of a drowning sea. It does not matter what one thinks when one is drowning: one flails. They will all play helplessly with the old toys of old gods, promising their same tired solutions in our shadow as we dance as giants over oceans.

But this vision made me realize politics is already transcended regardless of technology for those who have the will for it — technology merely forces existing contradictions together in a more immediate way, so that they must be overcome. All previous lies — the lies that work, the convenient ones — lose their practicality in the face of immediacy. Immediacy is the greatest dialectical tool; action is what arouses it.

People will be, they already are, afraid of the “What ifs?”

“What if a criminal gets one?” “Or the mentally ill?”  “Or the terrorists?”

Is “What if?” not a beautiful phrase that should be uttered only with a wide grin!? And those who instead tremble, “What if?”, are they not already dead inside!? These issues exist and many of us are not doing anything about them. Now, instead of expecting the government to solve problems, the government will be helpless, and you will have to do something. The power of the state will be shown for what it is — tertiary; and your power will emerge as was it always has been — primary. There will be no “What if a criminal gets one?” A criminal will have one. Criminals already have one. And what will you do about that?

This drew me simultaneously to the possibility of my own will while drawing my eyes and chest and arms wide for something beyond current contradictions, and I smiled and laughed on the inside like a madman, to see a world beyond this one, and us at the precipice. This is what Nietzsche must have felt when he urged us to move beyond good and evil. This is the overcoming of temporality. I saw, in one grand moment, beyond the present. It was a second death. New technologies will make the government’s job increasingly difficult, and people will be left to realize what has been the simple truth all along: the answer is you.

Of course, this is all just a feeling I have. Not all of the prompted ramblings are necessarily relevant, nor sane. Not that these adjectives matter on the dance floor… 😉

I will now take these next few years to meditate on the meaning of this and its implications, while attempting to put its lessons into daily action. 2015 will be a building year, a year for creating momentum. 2016 I will be a boulder down a steep hill and into darkness. I don’t think I will get any sleep tonight.


Share Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s